The crack in the wall is no big deal. It's a concrete house and they shift slightly. Everything is a go-ahead, except our closing date was pushed out to Feb. 8. Yay!!!!
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O.j. Simpson died and went to hell. The Devil met him at the gate and said, "I don't know what to do here. You are on my list and you obviously have to stay, but I have no room for you. OK, here's what we'll do. I have some people who weren't as bad as you so I'll let one of them go, but you have to take their place. I'll even let you choose which one."
O.J agreed, so the Devil opened the first door. Inside was Ted Kennedy and a large pool of water. Ted kept diving in and coming up empty handed. Over and over he dove and kept surfacing with nothing. Such was his fate in hell.
"No," said O.J., "I'm not a very good swimmer. I don't think I could do that all day."
The Devil then opened the second door. Inside was Al Gore with a sledgehammer and a room full of rocks. All he did was swing the hammer, over and over and over.
"No good", said O.J. "See, I have this problem with my shoulder. There's no way I can break rocks all day."
Do the Devil led him to door number three. Inside was Bill Clinton, naked and tied spread eagle on a bed. Bent over him was Monica Lewinski doing what she did best.
O.j. stared at Clinton for a moment , then said, "Yeah, OK, I think I can handle this!"
So the Devil says.......
"OK Monica, you can go now."