Thursday, August 31, 2006

What the Hell...?

I don't have any idea if this is true or not, but I sure did find it funny. Got it on email.

Essay on Hell

The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington> chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.

Here is the professor's "Bonus Question": Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)? Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different Religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.

With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities: 1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over. So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you", and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct...leaving only heaven . . thereby proving the existence of a divine being . . . which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A"
_____________________________________

Other News:

Trevor is very excited that Grammy and Grandpa are coming to visit (probably with presents!) in two weeks.

Hurricane Ernesto did not hit Tampa!!! (whew)

My hand surgery (see post titled "Irony?") was successful. i am pretty much healed up and the scar seems to be fading some already.

I have a great book to read and review this weekend. I know it is great because it was written by M. E. Ellis.

Holiday weekend coming up - the beach is calling. Just another day in paradise!

7 comments:

Steve G said...

Wish I was in paradise. Germany is lacking in weather at the moment. Warm weather anyway.

Duke_of_Earle said...

1. I think I know Teresa, or "a" Teresa, who during MY junior year in college... No, I'd better not go there.

2. Yes indeed, Grammy and Grandpa are on their way with presents. Probably a bad tradition to start, but when you've only got one grandson, you do what you gotta do.

Have a great holiday weekend, and check back here on Sunday for a report on Saturday night.

Dad

Christina said...

Hey, when the grandson only gets to see his grandparents twice a year, a little spoiling really doesn't hurt anything!

Karyn Lyndon said...

Glad to know your hand is doing better!

M.E Ellis said...

Oh he's just so bloody cute!

:o)

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