Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Fall Back

Update on my ankle: it was a mild sprain. The side of my foot turned purple but the swelling was minimal. with an Ace ankle support and my Nike's I can walk around comfortably. This is fortunate since I'm on my feet all day at work!

Well, it's definitely not summer anymore. We got down to 41 degrees last night which is record-setting for down here. High today was only 65, which is unheard of at this time of year. And Daylight Savings Time ends this weekend. I hate it when it's dark when I get home from work.

During one of her daily classes, a teacher, trying to teach good manners, asked her students the following question: 'If you were on a date having dinner with a nice young lady,how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom? Yes, Michael?'

Michael said, 'Just a minute I have to go pee.'

The teacher responded by saying, 'That would be rude and impolite.What about you Sherman, how would you say it?'

Sherman said,'I am sorry, but I really need to go to the bathroom. I'll be right back.'

'That's better, but it's still not very nice to say the word "bathroom" at the dinner table. And you, little Johnny, how would you say you explain it?'

Little Johnny answered, 'I would say: "Darling , may I please be excusedfor a moment? I have to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, to whom I hope to introduce you after dinner."'

The teacher fainted...

Saturday, October 25, 2008

Baseball Diamond

Well the Rays and Phillies are tied 1 game each so far in the World Series - GO RAYS!!!! I hope they can play tonight in the cold and rain.


Neil Diamond concert was last night! He was fantastic. He played all the songs people know, and a bunch that I didn't know. Of course hubby knew them all!

When we came out of the concert we stopped at a little bar right across the street to have a drink or two and hang out with a bunch of other people who just came from the concert. There was a guy playing music in there and of course everyone wanted to hear Neil Diamond songs.

We hung out and danced a little then headed back to the car, which was parked a few blocks away. It was dark, and we decided to cut across this open area, which unfortunately had very uneven ground. This, paired with the fact that I was wearing these really cool boots with really high heels resulted in a skinned knee and sprained ankle.

Other than that, we made it back home without incident!

Next concert coming up will be The Eagles in January...

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Chivalry Is Not Dead

As I was sitting and watching TV tonight, I realized I needed a couple items from the store. It was as good a time as any so I ran down to the corner and picked up my items.

On my way home I saw a little old man crossing the street in the middle of the block. (Read "80-some-odd year old shuffling accross the street in the middle of the block with oncoming traffic...")

I thought, "that old man shouldn't be jaywalking!"

I noticed he was coming from an assisted living facility.

Then I saw where he was going. He was headed across the street to a 55+ community.

Finally, I noticed he was carrying a bouquet of flowers. I thought, "Oh how sweet!!!"

But he still shouldn't be jaywalking. He could get hit!

Sunday, October 19, 2008

Broccoli, Anyone?

We went out to dinner last night. Red Lobster. I ordered Trevor the popcorn shrimp and broccoli off the kids' menu.

Trevor promptly decided that he would rather line up the shrimp in one long line on the table, and the broccoli in another, than eat either. OK, whatever. He was being quiet and well behaved otherwise.

Until he started trying to climb out of the highchair and look over into the booth next to us. I heard something along the line of "waaaants myyyy bwoooccoweeeee" out of Trevor.

I said, "Your broccoli is on the table in front of you. Go for it!" Trevor ignored me and continued trying to climb over into the next booth.

I stood up and looked over the divider. Sure enough , Trevor had thrown a piece of broccoli over there and it landed right between the couple closest to us, who looked like they might be on their first date. They also hadn't noticed the broccoli.

They turned around and looked at me like I had three heads. The other couple across from them stopped their conversation and stared at me too.

I said, "Uh...uh...excuse me...i'm really son threw a piece of...uh...broccoli over the seat and uh..." I reached down, grabbed the broccoli and sat down really quick.

They just laughed and (thank God) acted like nothing happened. I was so embarrassed that I got the giggles and started cracking up laughing. Yeah, that helped the situation!


There once was an Indian who had only one testicle, and whose given name was 'Onestone'. He hated that name and asked everyone not to call him Onestone.

After years and years of torment, Onestone finally cracked and said,'If anyone calls me Onestone again I will kill them!'

The word got around and nobody called him that any more. Then one day a young woman named Blue Bird forgot and said, 'Good morning, Onestone.'

He jumped up, grabbed her and took her deep into the forest where he made love to her all day and all night.He made love to her all the next day, until Blue Bird died from exhaustion.

The word got around that Onestone meant what he promised he would do.Years went by and no one dared call him by his given name until a woman named Yellow Bird returned to the village after being away.

Yellow Bird, who was Blue Bird's cousin, was overjoyed when she saw Onestone.

She hugged him and said, 'Good to see you, Onestone.'Onestone grabbed her, took her deep into the forest, then he made love to her all day, made love to her all night, made love to her all the next day, made love to her all the next night, but Yellow Bird wouldn't die!

What is the moral of this story?????

OH, Come on...take a guess!

Think about it............(You're going to love this!)

Very simply, the moral is..................


Monday, October 13, 2008

Toenail Polish and Investments

My 3 year old son has recently become potty trained.

Tonight, at one point he told us he needed to go potty and ran to the bathroom. Hubby followed along to see if he needed any help.

Trevor announced that he had to poop, so hubby left him to sit on the potty for a while. We were watching the baseball game and forgot all about Trevor, until I suddenly realized it was really quiet.

I ran to the bathroom to see what he had gotten into. He was sitting on the toilet painting his toenails. No shit, I took pictures.

He had the left foot done and was working on the right. He had seen me do my toenails the night before and right now he's into doing everything mommy does.

I guess I should draw a line somewhere though!

If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in Delta Airlines one year ago, you would have $49.00 today.

If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in AIG one year ago, you would have $33.00 today.

If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in Lehman Brothers one year ago, you would have $0.00 today.

But, if you had purchased $1,000 worth of beer one year ago, drank all the beer and then turned in the aluminum cans for a recycling refund, you would have received $214.00.

Based on the above, the best current investment plan is to drink heavily & recycle. It is called the 401-Keg.

Friday, October 10, 2008

Ducks in Heaven

Three women die together in an accident and go to heaven.

When they get there, St. Peter says 'We only have one rule here in heaven: don't step on the ducks!'

So they enter heaven, and sure enough, there are ducks all over the place. It is almost impossible not to step on a duck, and although they try their best to avoid them, the first woman accidentally steps on one.

Along comes St. Peter with the ugliest man she ever saw. St. Peter chains them together and says, 'Your punishment for stepping on a duck is to spend eternity chained to this ugly man!'

The next day, the second woman steps accidentally on a duck and along comes St. Peter, who doesn't miss a thing. With him is another extremely ugly man. He chains them together with the same admonishment as for the first woman.

The third woman has observed all this and, not wanting to be chained for all eternity to an ugly man, is very, VERY careful where she steps.

She manages to go months without stepping on any ducks, but one day St. Peter comes up to her with the most handsome man she has ever laid eyes on...very tall, long eyelashes, muscular.

St. Peter chains them together without saying a word.The happy woman says, 'I wonder what I did to deserve being chained to you for all of eternity?'

The guy says, 'I don't know about you, but I stepped on a duck.

Monday, October 06, 2008


Does anyone else have tattoos? I have a total of 4 (pics below).

I got the first,dive flag and shark, when I was in college. I had been certified as a scuba diver and was on my way to becoming an instructor.

I got the second, the conch shell, when I lived in Key Largo. It just felt like home to me, and still does in a way. Part of me will always be there, it was a huge time in my life.

The third, the armband with flowers, just came along about a year ago. It does go all the way around, btw. I figure if you're gonna do it, may as well do it right!

The fourth, the peace sign, I just got a few months ago. I was looking for myself, and wanted something symbolic. Peace signs are becoming very popular again, and it kinda pisses me off, 'cause I was into them before it was cool. Now everybody has one.

I would love to see pics of your tattoos and the story behind them. Please share!

If you don't have any, why not? No judgment one way or another, it's a personal choice. I personally like the art and the symbolism, every tat tells a story.

What do you think?

Wednesday, October 01, 2008

Random Bits

My husband and I love concerts. We have been to...let's see...

Rolling Stones, KISS, Aerosmith, Neil Young, John Prine, Jimmy Buffett, Bon Jovi, Eagles...seems like there may be more but I forget.

Anyway, we are going to see Neil Diamond on the 24th. Can't wait!!!


We took Trevor (age 3) to Wal Mart yesterday to buy underwear. He was sooo excited.

These were his first real underwear, not training pants, and they have Batman and Spiderman on them. How cool is that!


I just found out that the office manager where I work has a new boyfriend.

We all hope he is either super rich and marries her so she can quit working, or that he is the Jeffrey Dahmer type. Either one will be acceptable.


Has anybody started their Christmas shopping yet? I haven't.

I usually don't until about a week or 2 before Christmas. I'm such a procrastinater.


Happy Hump Day everyone!!! The weekend awaits...