Sunday, October 19, 2008

Broccoli, Anyone?

We went out to dinner last night. Red Lobster. I ordered Trevor the popcorn shrimp and broccoli off the kids' menu.

Trevor promptly decided that he would rather line up the shrimp in one long line on the table, and the broccoli in another, than eat either. OK, whatever. He was being quiet and well behaved otherwise.

Until he started trying to climb out of the highchair and look over into the booth next to us. I heard something along the line of "waaaants myyyy bwoooccoweeeee" out of Trevor.

I said, "Your broccoli is on the table in front of you. Go for it!" Trevor ignored me and continued trying to climb over into the next booth.

I stood up and looked over the divider. Sure enough , Trevor had thrown a piece of broccoli over there and it landed right between the couple closest to us, who looked like they might be on their first date. They also hadn't noticed the broccoli.

They turned around and looked at me like I had three heads. The other couple across from them stopped their conversation and stared at me too.

I said, "Uh...uh...excuse me...i'm really sorry...uh...my son threw a piece of...uh...broccoli over the seat and uh..." I reached down, grabbed the broccoli and sat down really quick.

They just laughed and (thank God) acted like nothing happened. I was so embarrassed that I got the giggles and started cracking up laughing. Yeah, that helped the situation!

_____________________________________

There once was an Indian who had only one testicle, and whose given name was 'Onestone'. He hated that name and asked everyone not to call him Onestone.

After years and years of torment, Onestone finally cracked and said,'If anyone calls me Onestone again I will kill them!'

The word got around and nobody called him that any more. Then one day a young woman named Blue Bird forgot and said, 'Good morning, Onestone.'

He jumped up, grabbed her and took her deep into the forest where he made love to her all day and all night.He made love to her all the next day, until Blue Bird died from exhaustion.

The word got around that Onestone meant what he promised he would do.Years went by and no one dared call him by his given name until a woman named Yellow Bird returned to the village after being away.

Yellow Bird, who was Blue Bird's cousin, was overjoyed when she saw Onestone.

She hugged him and said, 'Good to see you, Onestone.'Onestone grabbed her, took her deep into the forest, then he made love to her all day, made love to her all night, made love to her all the next day, made love to her all the next night, but Yellow Bird wouldn't die!

What is the moral of this story?????

OH, Come on...take a guess!

Think about it............(You're going to love this!)

Very simply, the moral is..................

YOU CAN'T KILL TWO BIRDS WITH ONE STONE!!!!

10 comments:

Duke_of_Earle said...

Re: Trevor and the broccoli. Coulda been worse. A LOT worse. But I'm glad for your sake they laughed.

Re: the joke.

AAAARRRRGGGGHHH!!!!!

Dad

Fred said...

If The Missus were to serve me broccoli, I'd throw it, too. Trevor has the right idea.

I'm slow. I didn't get the moral to the story.

Merle said...

Hi Christina ~~ Good broccoli story with Trevor and most people understand that'
little people do those sorts of things.
Great joke about Blue Bird and Yellow Bird and Onestone. Thanks for your comment about the couple on the train.
I didn't get the last line on my e mail,
but it's typical. Take care, Love, Merle.

Peter said...

Trevor made the right choice with that broccoli!!!!!

Jack K. said...

One day the lad will learn that broccoli is quite tasty. It appears that Trevor may have a career in the military. Lining up the "troops" is one of the first signs. snerx.

A sense of humor is absolutely essential when taking young children anywhere. Our oldest liked to crawl around under the table when she was Trevor's age. We didn't take her out too often. Now she wants us to take her to the high priced places when we visit her in the LA area. AAAARRRRGGGGHHH!!!!!

As for the joke, I'm with the Duke-AAAARRRRGGGGHHH!!!!!

Seen it before. snerx

Nik said...

I would have been right with you laughing. Kids do some of the funniest things, especially without trying to be funny. Glad he got his broccoli back and it wasn't too big of a deal.

Good joke, too!

Peter said...

Your two missing emails turned up today Christina?????

Merle said...

Hi again Christina ~~ Thanks again for comments. Glad you liked the story of Kevin. I know what you mean about wanting your little boy to stay young and innocent, but know that he has to grow up strong and good. My advice, is
to take tons od videos or movie camera shows as well as photos to remind you of
his growing years. I have 3 adopted kids, the youngest will be 47 tomorrow.
I only have photos and memories of their childhood. Take care, Love and Hugs, Merle.

gaohui said...

Warm dog clothing Abercrombie Polos is made in many different popular fabrics as well. You Abercrombie Polos can get sweaters which are made out of fleece, jackets ed hardy Hats made with micro fiber faux suede as well as knits and standard cotton blends. The Ed Hardy Sale best place to find all of these selections though is through the internet. When Ed Hardy Swimwear you go to the local pet store, if they have any selection at all, their Ed Hardy Swimwear prices can be expensive. The same also goes for specialty shops. However dog Ed Hardy Swimwear apparel on the internet are cheap and since they are even delivered to your front door, you get even more savings.

chunxue said...

During the World War II, Art Deco jewellery was abercrombie & fitch a very popular style among women. The females started abercrombie wearing short dresses and cut their hair short. And cheap abercrombie & fitch such boyish style was accessorized with Art Deco jewellery. They used abercrombie and fitch long dangling earrings and necklaces, multiple bracelets and bold abercrombie outlet rings.Art Deco jewellery has harshly geometric and symmetrical theme instead abercrombie & fitch sale of free flowing curves and naturalistic motifs. Art Deco Jewelry abercrombie clothing today displays designs that consist of arcs, circles, rectangles, squares, and discount abercrombie triangles. Bracelets, earrings, necklaces and rings are added with long abercrombie and fitch UK lines and curves.One example of Art Deco jewelry is the Art Deco ring. Art Deco rings have abercrombie and fitch outlet sophisticated sparkle and bold styles. These rings are not intended for a subtle look, they are meant to be noticed. Hence, these are perfect for people with bold styles.