We went out to dinner last night. Red Lobster. I ordered Trevor the popcorn shrimp and broccoli off the kids' menu.
Trevor promptly decided that he would rather line up the shrimp in one long line on the table, and the broccoli in another, than eat either. OK, whatever. He was being quiet and well behaved otherwise.
Until he started trying to climb out of the highchair and look over into the booth next to us. I heard something along the line of "waaaants myyyy bwoooccoweeeee" out of Trevor.
I said, "Your broccoli is on the table in front of you. Go for it!" Trevor ignored me and continued trying to climb over into the next booth.
I stood up and looked over the divider. Sure enough , Trevor had thrown a piece of broccoli over there and it landed right between the couple closest to us, who looked like they might be on their first date. They also hadn't noticed the broccoli.
They turned around and looked at me like I had three heads. The other couple across from them stopped their conversation and stared at me too.
I said, "Uh...uh...excuse me...i'm really sorry...uh...my son threw a piece of...uh...broccoli over the seat and uh..." I reached down, grabbed the broccoli and sat down really quick.
They just laughed and (thank God) acted like nothing happened. I was so embarrassed that I got the giggles and started cracking up laughing. Yeah, that helped the situation!
There once was an Indian who had only one testicle, and whose given name was 'Onestone'. He hated that name and asked everyone not to call him Onestone.
After years and years of torment, Onestone finally cracked and said,'If anyone calls me Onestone again I will kill them!'
The word got around and nobody called him that any more. Then one day a young woman named Blue Bird forgot and said, 'Good morning, Onestone.'
He jumped up, grabbed her and took her deep into the forest where he made love to her all day and all night.He made love to her all the next day, until Blue Bird died from exhaustion.
The word got around that Onestone meant what he promised he would do.Years went by and no one dared call him by his given name until a woman named Yellow Bird returned to the village after being away.
Yellow Bird, who was Blue Bird's cousin, was overjoyed when she saw Onestone.
She hugged him and said, 'Good to see you, Onestone.'Onestone grabbed her, took her deep into the forest, then he made love to her all day, made love to her all night, made love to her all the next day, made love to her all the next night, but Yellow Bird wouldn't die!
What is the moral of this story?????
OH, Come on...take a guess!
Think about it............(You're going to love this!)
Very simply, the moral is..................
YOU CAN'T KILL TWO BIRDS WITH ONE STONE!!!!