Saturday, December 20, 2008
Monday, December 15, 2008
Tuesday, December 09, 2008
Friday, December 05, 2008
Monday, December 01, 2008
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Saturday, November 22, 2008
A group of country friends from the Cottonwood Baptist Church wanted to get together on a regular basis, socialize, and play games. The lady of the house was to prepare the meal.
When it came time for Al and Janet to be the hosts, Janet wanted to outdo all the others. So Janet decided to have mushroom-smothered steak.
However,knowing that mushrooms are expensive, her husband said, 'Don't buy mushrooms -- they cost too much.' He said, 'Why don't you go down in the pasture and pick some of those mushrooms? There are plenty in the creek bed.'
She said, 'No, some wild mushrooms are poison.'
He said, 'Well, I see varmints eating them and they're OK.'
So Janet decided to give it a try. She picked a bunch, washed, sliced, and diced them for her smothered steak. Then she went out on the back porch and gave Ol' Spot (the yard dog) a double handful.
Ol' Spot ate every bite. All morning long, Janet watched Ol' Spot and the wild mushrooms didn't seem to affect him, so she decided to use them. The meal was a great success and Janet even hired a lady from town to help her serve it. She had on a white apron and a fancy little cap on her head.
After everyone had finished eating, they relaxed, socialized, and started singing and playing some music.
About then, the helper lady from town came in and whispered in Janet's ear. She said, 'Mrs. Williams, Ol' Spot just died.' Janet went into hysterics. After she finally calmed down, > she called the doctor and told him what had happened.
The doctor said , 'That's bad, but I think we can take care of it. I will call for an ambulance and I will be there as quick as possible. I'll give everyone enemas and I will pump out everyone's stomach. Everything will be fine. Just keep them calm..'
Soon they could hear the siren as the ambulance was coming down the road. The EMTs and the doctor had their suitcases, syringes and a stomach pump. One by one, they took each person into the bathroom, gave them an enema, and pumped out their stomach.
After the last one was finished, the doctor came out and said, 'Done, everything will be fine now', and he left. They were all looking pretty weak sitting around the living room and about this time, the helper lady came in and said, 'You know, I't's just terrible...that fellow that ran over Ol' Spot never even stopped.'
Life Is Uncertain ........ Eat Dessert First !
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
The rumor was that we may not be getting Christmas bonuses this year because the practice may not have enough money.
It was also said that there was sometimes a question as to whether there was enough in the bank to make payroll.
I personally do not believe either.
The thing that blows my mind is WHY on earth would the OFIICE MANAGER spread this kind of stuff!
If it's true, it certainly isn't something all the employees need to be aware of. And if it isn't true, why say it to begin with? Just to stir up problems with people? To see how many people spread it and/or believed it?
How petty and juvenile, not to mention unprofessional to the nth degree! I sometimes can't believe that there are people like that in positions like that and they manage to keep their jobs.
Monday, November 03, 2008
A police officer pulls over a speeding car.The officer says, "I clocked you at 80 miles per hour, sir."
The driver says, "Gee, officer I had it on cruise control at 60, perhaps your radar gun needs calibrating.
"Not looking up from her knitting the wife says: "Now don't be silly dear, you know that this car doesn't have cruise control."
As the officer writes out the ticket, the driver looks over at his wife and growls, "Can't you please keep your mouth shut for once?"
The wife smiles demurely and says, "You should be thankful your radar detector went off when it did."
As the officer makes out the second ticket for the illegal radar detector unit, the man glowers at his wife and says through clenched teeth, "Darn it, woman, can't you keep your mouth shut?"
The officer frowns and says, "And I notice that you're not wearing your seat belt, sir. That's an automatic $75 fine."
The driver says, "Yeah, well, you see officer, I had it on, but took it off when you pulled me over so that I could get my license out of my back pocket."
The wife says, "Now, dear, you know very well that you didn't have your seat belt on. You never wear your seat belt when you're driving."
And as the police officer is writing out the third ticket the driver turns to his wife and barks, "WHY DON'T YOU JUST SHUT UP?"
The officer looks over at the woman and asks, "Does your husband always talk to you this way, Ma'am?"
I love this part....
"Only when he's been drinking."
Saturday, November 01, 2008
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Well, it's definitely not summer anymore. We got down to 41 degrees last night which is record-setting for down here. High today was only 65, which is unheard of at this time of year. And Daylight Savings Time ends this weekend. I hate it when it's dark when I get home from work.
During one of her daily classes, a teacher, trying to teach good manners, asked her students the following question: 'If you were on a date having dinner with a nice young lady,how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom? Yes, Michael?'
Michael said, 'Just a minute I have to go pee.'
The teacher responded by saying, 'That would be rude and impolite.What about you Sherman, how would you say it?'
Sherman said,'I am sorry, but I really need to go to the bathroom. I'll be right back.'
'That's better, but it's still not very nice to say the word "bathroom" at the dinner table. And you, little Johnny, how would you say you explain it?'
Little Johnny answered, 'I would say: "Darling , may I please be excusedfor a moment? I have to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, to whom I hope to introduce you after dinner."'
The teacher fainted...
Saturday, October 25, 2008
Neil Diamond concert was last night! He was fantastic. He played all the songs people know, and a bunch that I didn't know. Of course hubby knew them all!
When we came out of the concert we stopped at a little bar right across the street to have a drink or two and hang out with a bunch of other people who just came from the concert. There was a guy playing music in there and of course everyone wanted to hear Neil Diamond songs.
We hung out and danced a little then headed back to the car, which was parked a few blocks away. It was dark, and we decided to cut across this open area, which unfortunately had very uneven ground. This, paired with the fact that I was wearing these really cool boots with really high heels resulted in a skinned knee and sprained ankle.
Other than that, we made it back home without incident!
Next concert coming up will be The Eagles in January...
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
On my way home I saw a little old man crossing the street in the middle of the block. (Read "80-some-odd year old shuffling accross the street in the middle of the block with oncoming traffic...")
I thought, "that old man shouldn't be jaywalking!"
I noticed he was coming from an assisted living facility.
Then I saw where he was going. He was headed across the street to a 55+ community.
Finally, I noticed he was carrying a bouquet of flowers. I thought, "Oh how sweet!!!"
But he still shouldn't be jaywalking. He could get hit!
Sunday, October 19, 2008
Trevor promptly decided that he would rather line up the shrimp in one long line on the table, and the broccoli in another, than eat either. OK, whatever. He was being quiet and well behaved otherwise.
Until he started trying to climb out of the highchair and look over into the booth next to us. I heard something along the line of "waaaants myyyy bwoooccoweeeee" out of Trevor.
I said, "Your broccoli is on the table in front of you. Go for it!" Trevor ignored me and continued trying to climb over into the next booth.
I stood up and looked over the divider. Sure enough , Trevor had thrown a piece of broccoli over there and it landed right between the couple closest to us, who looked like they might be on their first date. They also hadn't noticed the broccoli.
They turned around and looked at me like I had three heads. The other couple across from them stopped their conversation and stared at me too.
I said, "Uh...uh...excuse me...i'm really sorry...uh...my son threw a piece of...uh...broccoli over the seat and uh..." I reached down, grabbed the broccoli and sat down really quick.
They just laughed and (thank God) acted like nothing happened. I was so embarrassed that I got the giggles and started cracking up laughing. Yeah, that helped the situation!
There once was an Indian who had only one testicle, and whose given name was 'Onestone'. He hated that name and asked everyone not to call him Onestone.
After years and years of torment, Onestone finally cracked and said,'If anyone calls me Onestone again I will kill them!'
The word got around and nobody called him that any more. Then one day a young woman named Blue Bird forgot and said, 'Good morning, Onestone.'
He jumped up, grabbed her and took her deep into the forest where he made love to her all day and all night.He made love to her all the next day, until Blue Bird died from exhaustion.
The word got around that Onestone meant what he promised he would do.Years went by and no one dared call him by his given name until a woman named Yellow Bird returned to the village after being away.
Yellow Bird, who was Blue Bird's cousin, was overjoyed when she saw Onestone.
She hugged him and said, 'Good to see you, Onestone.'Onestone grabbed her, took her deep into the forest, then he made love to her all day, made love to her all night, made love to her all the next day, made love to her all the next night, but Yellow Bird wouldn't die!
What is the moral of this story?????
OH, Come on...take a guess!
Think about it............(You're going to love this!)
Very simply, the moral is..................
YOU CAN'T KILL TWO BIRDS WITH ONE STONE!!!!
Monday, October 13, 2008
Tonight, at one point he told us he needed to go potty and ran to the bathroom. Hubby followed along to see if he needed any help.
Trevor announced that he had to poop, so hubby left him to sit on the potty for a while. We were watching the baseball game and forgot all about Trevor, until I suddenly realized it was really quiet.
I ran to the bathroom to see what he had gotten into. He was sitting on the toilet painting his toenails. No shit, I took pictures.
He had the left foot done and was working on the right. He had seen me do my toenails the night before and right now he's into doing everything mommy does.
I guess I should draw a line somewhere though!
If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in Delta Airlines one year ago, you would have $49.00 today.
If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in AIG one year ago, you would have $33.00 today.
If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in Lehman Brothers one year ago, you would have $0.00 today.
But, if you had purchased $1,000 worth of beer one year ago, drank all the beer and then turned in the aluminum cans for a recycling refund, you would have received $214.00.
Based on the above, the best current investment plan is to drink heavily & recycle. It is called the 401-Keg.
Friday, October 10, 2008
When they get there, St. Peter says 'We only have one rule here in heaven: don't step on the ducks!'
So they enter heaven, and sure enough, there are ducks all over the place. It is almost impossible not to step on a duck, and although they try their best to avoid them, the first woman accidentally steps on one.
Along comes St. Peter with the ugliest man she ever saw. St. Peter chains them together and says, 'Your punishment for stepping on a duck is to spend eternity chained to this ugly man!'
The next day, the second woman steps accidentally on a duck and along comes St. Peter, who doesn't miss a thing. With him is another extremely ugly man. He chains them together with the same admonishment as for the first woman.
The third woman has observed all this and, not wanting to be chained for all eternity to an ugly man, is very, VERY careful where she steps.
She manages to go months without stepping on any ducks, but one day St. Peter comes up to her with the most handsome man she has ever laid eyes on...very tall, long eyelashes, muscular.
St. Peter chains them together without saying a word.The happy woman says, 'I wonder what I did to deserve being chained to you for all of eternity?'
The guy says, 'I don't know about you, but I stepped on a duck.
Monday, October 06, 2008
I got the first,dive flag and shark, when I was in college. I had been certified as a scuba diver and was on my way to becoming an instructor.
I got the second, the conch shell, when I lived in Key Largo. It just felt like home to me, and still does in a way. Part of me will always be there, it was a huge time in my life.
The third, the armband with flowers, just came along about a year ago. It does go all the way around, btw. I figure if you're gonna do it, may as well do it right!
The fourth, the peace sign, I just got a few months ago. I was looking for myself, and wanted something symbolic. Peace signs are becoming very popular again, and it kinda pisses me off, 'cause I was into them before it was cool. Now everybody has one.
I would love to see pics of your tattoos and the story behind them. Please share!
If you don't have any, why not? No judgment one way or another, it's a personal choice. I personally like the art and the symbolism, every tat tells a story.
What do you think?
Wednesday, October 01, 2008
Rolling Stones, KISS, Aerosmith, Neil Young, John Prine, Jimmy Buffett, Bon Jovi, Eagles...seems like there may be more but I forget.
Anyway, we are going to see Neil Diamond on the 24th. Can't wait!!!
We took Trevor (age 3) to Wal Mart yesterday to buy underwear. He was sooo excited.
These were his first real underwear, not training pants, and they have Batman and Spiderman on them. How cool is that!
I just found out that the office manager where I work has a new boyfriend.
We all hope he is either super rich and marries her so she can quit working, or that he is the Jeffrey Dahmer type. Either one will be acceptable.
Has anybody started their Christmas shopping yet? I haven't.
I usually don't until about a week or 2 before Christmas. I'm such a procrastinater.
Happy Hump Day everyone!!! The weekend awaits...
Sunday, September 28, 2008
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
I found a costume online and ordered it. Then I told Trevor (my son) that he would be dressing up as George for trick-or-treat. He go very excited, but I wasn't sure if he really grasped the concept or not.
Well, the costume arrived yesterday. Trevor started jumpnig around the living room shrieking "MY CURIOUS GEORGE SUIT" at the top of his lungs.
I made the mistake of putting it on him. He refused to take it off. Since I pick my battles and this wasn't one I wanted to fight, I let him wear the suit.
Finally he needed to go potty. I worried for a minute when I told him he had to take the suit off to go potty and he refused. Then he thought about it and relented. I guess he really had to go bad.
Anyway, at bedtime, he wanted to wear the suit to bed, and this I did not allow. I listened to him scream for about 5 minutes or so, then he accepted my ruling.
By today he has forgotten all about it. Don't you wish we could still get over things that quickly when we're grown-ups?
btw, pictures of the CG suit will be posted at Halloween!
Sunday, September 21, 2008
I already can't decide who to vote for. I like some things that Obama stands for and I like some things McCain stands for.
I am sick of the war.
I wouldn't mind seeing a woman vice president, and I don't know enough about Biden to care one way or the other about him.
So you see, I will never post about politics on my blog.
Oh wait...what did I just post about...?
Thursday, September 18, 2008
I always felt like I didn't have anything interesting to blog about. But so what? I will blog about whatever I want whether anyone reads it or not, right? Right.
Don't you hate it when you're driving down a busy street and the car in front of you changes lanes abruptly, giving you just enough time to figure out why they did so. It's a car doing 35 in a 45 where everyone is going at least 55. That happened to me today.
As I swore quietly, I checked my blind spot and swerved around this annoying car. I expected, based on my residence in central Florida, to see a little old lady or gentleman about 90 years old peering over the dash.
Instead I saw a young kid of about 23 punching buttons on his cell phone. Probably texting. Little bastard!
Hey, wait a sec... when did I start calling people in their 20's "kids"? holy shit , I feel old.
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
Anyway, although parts of it were boring as shit, there was one speaker who made the whole weekend worthwhile.
His name is Tom Sullivan, and he has been blind since birth. Of course this is not what defines him as a person, it is the reason he was speaking at an ophthalmology conference. He was extremely inspirational and just a pleasure to listen to.
He has written several books, the latest of which we were given a copy of. I highly recommend anything he has written. He made me look at what I do every day in a whole new way, and really made an impact on me and others who attended. How very refreshing at an otherwise sleep-inducing affair!
you may have seen this before, it's an oldie:
After every flight, pilots fill out a form called a gripe sheet, which conveys to the mechanics problems encountered with the aircraft during the flight that need repair or correction. The mechanics read and correct the problem, and then respond in writing on the lower half of the form what remedial action was taken, and the pilot reviews the gripe sheets before the next flight. Never let it be said that ground crews and engineers lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual logged maintenance complaints and problems as submitted by Qantas pilots and the solution recorded by maintenance engineers. By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never had an accident.
(P = The problem logged by the pilot.)
(S = The solution and action taken by the mechanics.)-----
P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.
P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.
P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground
P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.
P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level
P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what they're there for.
P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode
P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right
P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search
P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious
P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics
P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.
P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget.
Friday, June 06, 2008
There was a blind girl who hated herself because she was blind. She hated everyone, except her loving boyfriend. He was always there for her. She told her boyfriend, 'If I could only see the world, I will marry you.'
One day, someone donated a pair of eyes to her. When the bandages came off, she was able to see everything, including her boyfriend.
He asked her,'Now that you can see the world, will you marry me?' The girl looked at her boyfriend and saw that he was blind. The sight of his closed eyelids shocked her. She hadn't expected that. The thought of looking at them the rest of her life led her to refuse to marry him.
Her boyfriend left in tears and days later wrote a note to her saying: 'Take good care of your eyes, my dear, for before they were yours, they were mine.'
This is how the human brain often works when our status changes. Only a very few remember what life was like before, and who was always by their side in the most painful situations.
Life Is a Gift
Today before you say an unkind word - Think of someone who can't speak.
Before you complain about the taste of your food - Think of someone who has nothing to eat.
Before you complain about your husband or wife - Think of someone who's crying out to GOD for a companion.
Today before you complain about life - Think of someone who went too early to heaven
Before you complain about your children - Think of someone who desires children but they're barren.
Before you argue about your dirty house someone didn't clean or sweep - Think of the people who are living in the streets.
Before whining about the distance you drive Think of someone who walks the same distance with their feet.
And when you are tired and complain about your job - Think of the unemployed, the disabled, and those who wish they had your job.
But before you think of pointing the finger or condemning another - Remember that not one of us is without sin.
And when depressing thoughts seem to get you down - Put a smile on your face and think: you're alive and still around.
CHALK ONE UP FOR THE OLD DUDE
An older, white haired man walked into a jewelry store one Friday evening with a beautiful young gal at his side. He told the jeweler he was looking for a special ring for his girlfriend. The jeweler looked through his stock and brought out a $5,000 ring and showed it to him.
The old man said, "I don't think you understand, I want something very special." At that statement, the jeweler went to his special stock and brought another ring over. "Here's a stunning ring at only $40,000," the jeweler said.
The young lady's eyes sparkled and her whole body trembled with excitement. The old man seeing this said, "We'll take it."
The jeweler asked how payment would be made and the old man stated, by check. " I know you need to make sure my check is good, so I'll write it now and you can call the bank Monday to verify the funds and I'll pick the ring up Monday afternoon," he said.
Monday morning, a very teed-off jeweler phoned the old man. "There's no money in that account."
"I know", said the old man, "but can you imagine the weekend I had?"
Saturday, May 03, 2008
We went to the beach the other day. OMG, it was just gorgeous! We went to our normal spot on Dunedin Causeway.
The Causeway leads out to Honeymoon Island State Park, which has a really beautiful beach. It's a ways out there though, then you have to pay to get into the park, then you have to walk a long was from the parking lot to the actual beach. We go there sometimes, but more often we just stop on the causeway.
There is a narrow strip of sandy beach on either side of the road and you can pull off and park for free. We always stop there, put in our sailboat or kayak and sail or paddle out to the sand bar. There is a huge sand bar that is totally exposed at low tide. I love it out there. I can walk forever, pick up shells, just enjoy the scenery, and Trevor can run and swim to his heart's content.
Last time we went out we got an added bonus. As we stood on the edge of the sandbar, near the deeper boat channel, 3 dolhins swam by only about 20-30 feet from us. We were able to watch them feeding for a while. It was so awesome,they are such beautiful animals.
One of them swam up, poked his head up and looked right at us. Then he went back to catching and eating fish. I was so wishing I had my snorkeling gear, I would have been out there in that water to see if I could see them a little closer. I don't care if the water is only 76 degrees and I usually don't go in until it's 80!
We do see dolphins out there on occasion, but that was the closest they have ever come and for quite a long time too!
>>A married couple was on holiday in Jamaica. They were touring around >the >>marketplace looking at the goods and such when they passed this small >sandal >>shop.
From inside they heard the shopkeeper with a Jamaican accent say, You foreigners! Come in. Come into my humble shop! So the married couple >walked >>in. The Jamaican said to them, I have some special sandals I think you >would >be >>interested in. Dey make you wild at sex.
Well, the wife was really interested in buying the sandals after what >the man claimed, but her husband felt he really didn't need them, being >the >sex god that he was. The husband asked the man, How could sandals make you into >a sexfreak?
The Jamaican replied, Just try dem on, ! Mon. Well, the husband, after some badgering from his wife, finally gave >in, >and >>tried them on. As soon as he slipped them onto his feet, he got this >wild >>look in his eyes. . . something his wife hadn't seen in many years!
In the blink of an eye, the husband grabbed the Jamaican, bent him >violently >>over a table, yanked down his pants, ripped down his own pants, and >grabbed >>a firm hold of he Jamaican's hips. The Jamaican then began screaming, >>
YOU GOT DEM ON DE WRONG FEET! YOU GOT DEM ON DE WRONG FEET! !
Saturday, April 26, 2008
Four example: a flier advertising a presentation being given by one of the doctors I work four reads "Diabetes and How It Can Effect Your Vision"! (This flier was not designed and printed by the doctor, nor by our practice, but by the Assisted Living Facility where the talk would be held.)
I went to the store yesterday and saw this sine:
An edition to your home? Please! WTF?
Buy the weigh, I ran this post threw spellcheck, so I no everything is spelled rite!!!
Here's a truly heartwarming story about the bond formed between a little 5-year-old girl and some construction workers that will make you believe that we all can make a difference when we give a child the gift of our time.
A young family moved into a house, next to a vacant lot. One day, a>construction crew began to build a house on t he empty lot. The young>family's 5-year-old daughter naturally took an interest in the goings-on >and>spent much of each day observing the workers.
Eventually the construction crew, all of the 'gems-in-the-rough,' more or>less, adopted her as a kind of project mascot. They chatted with her >during>coffee and lunch breaks and gave her little jobs to do here and there to>make her feel important. At the end of the first week, they even presented>her with a pay envelope containing ten dollars. The little girl took this>home to her mother who suggested that she take her ten dollars 'pay' she'd>received to the bank the next day to start a savings account.
When the girl and her mom got to the bank, the teller was equally impressed>and asked the little girl how she had come by her very own pay check at >such>a young age. The little girl proudly replied, 'I worked last week with a>real construction crew building the new house next door to us.'
'Oh my goodness gracious,' said the teller, 'and will you be working on the>house again this week, too?' The little girl replied, 'I will, if those>assholes at Home Depot ever deliver the f---ckin' sheet rock!"
Kind of brings a tear to the eye - doesn't it?
Friday, April 18, 2008
Regarding the yard...well, all that has changed. We just found out that we have to move. The owner of the property we are renting decided to take it off the market. Why? I have no idea. Anyway, we are looking at a place that's only about 1/4 mile from where we live now. Moving is a pain inthe butt, but I'm trying to look at the positive aspects. I always enjoy starting over in a new place. The new house is bigger and cheaper (rentwise) than the old one.
Trevor's first few days of preschool have gone well. He seems to be comfortable with the other kids and to be adjusting well to the routine. His best skill so far - he learned how to drink from a water fountain!
This pretty much cracked me up!
REDNECK TANK TOP:
Sunday, April 06, 2008
What have I been up to lately? My latest project is improving my lawn. Whe I moved into this house a year ago, the grass wasn't that great and there were lots of weeds. We kept them trimmed, but this being a rental house, I didn't feel the need to do any more than maintain the yard the same as it was when we moved in.
This year however, I decided I wanted a nice yard. We renewed our lease so we will be here a minimum of another year. My first task was to pull out as many of the weeds as I could. I have finished about 75% of the back yard, which means about 50% of my back yard is now bare dirt. I told you there were lots of weeds.
Eventually I will add some lawn starter soil in areas and plant grass seeds all over the whole lawn. I have never done this before, so I have no idea how long it will take to grow in nicely. I don't intend to even start on the front yard until the back yard is finished. Some people might say I should have done the front yard first because that's the one that people see, but I don't care. We spend a lot more time in the back yard than in the front!
My baby is going to be 3 years old in a week. I can't believe it! He starts his first preschool next week, on Tuesdays and Thursdays. He is very excited about going to "school" like a big boy.
When a retiree has too much time on his hands:
Working people frequently ask retired people what they do to make their days interesting. Well, for example, the other day I went downtown and into a shop. I was only there for about 5 minutes and when I came out there was a cop writing out a parking ticket.
I said to him, 'Come on, man, how about giving a retired person a break?'
He ignored me and continued writing the ticket. I called him a 'Nazi.'
He glared at me and wrote another ticket for having worn tires. So I called him a 'doughnut eating Gestapo.' He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first. Then he wrote a third ticket.
This went on for about 20 minutes.
The more I abused him the more tickets he wrote.
Personally, I didn't care.
I came downtown on the bus, and the car that he was putting the tickets on had a bumper sticker that said 'Clinton in '08.'
I try to have a little fun each day now that I'm retired. It's important to my health.