Friday, January 16, 2009

What Crack?

The crack in the wall is no big deal.  It's a concrete house and they shift slightly.  Everything is a go-ahead, except our closing date was pushed out to Feb. 8.  Yay!!!!

_________________________________

O.j. Simpson died and went to hell.  The Devil met him at the gate and said, "I don't know what to do here.  You are on my list and you obviously have to stay, but I have no room for you.  OK, here's what we'll do.  I have some people who weren't as bad as you so I'll let one of them go, but you have to take their place.  I'll even let you choose which one."

O.J agreed, so the Devil opened the first door.  Inside was Ted Kennedy and a large pool of water.  Ted kept diving in and coming up empty handed.  Over and over he dove and kept surfacing with nothing.  Such was his fate in hell.

"No," said O.J., "I'm not a very good swimmer.  I don't think I could do that all day."

The Devil then opened the second door.  Inside was Al Gore with a sledgehammer and a room full of rocks.  All he did was swing the hammer, over and over and over.

"No good", said O.J. "See, I have this problem with my shoulder.  There's no way I can break rocks all day."

Do the Devil led him to door number three.  Inside was Bill Clinton, naked and tied spread eagle on a bed.  Bent over him was Monica Lewinski doing what she did best.

O.j. stared at Clinton for a moment , then said, "Yeah, OK, I think I can handle this!"

So the Devil says.......

"OK Monica, you can go now."

14 comments:

GutsyWriter said...

Loved it. Are you good at remembering jokes to tell in front of a crowd? Wish I was better at that.

Merle said...

Dear Christina ~~ I am glad that the
crack is not important. Great joke with a twist ending I wasn't expecting. Thanks for your comments and I am glad you enjoyed some of the jokes.
I am actually going to post the Award
you passed to me awhile back as the 10 things had me stuck for a while.
I hope they will be OK - they are honest. Take care, my friend, Love, Merle.

Jack K. said...

Hooray! It is always an exciting time as you near the closing.

Florida must have a "law" similar to one in Kansas, "If you have concrete, you have cracks." Usually they aren't a problem. Glad to learn yours will be no problem. Just keep an eye on it.

As for the joke, LMAO.

Duke_of_Earle said...

Now, if you had a different KIND of "crack" in the house the police would be all over you!

(I know, I know. I work at a plant where they make "needle coke" so I shouldn't talk, right?)

Dad

P.S. Uh, about the joke . . . (snort!)

Rhi said...

Haha nice joke. =)
Good luck on your house, closing time is fast approaching.
Hope all is well.

Merle said...

Dear Christina ~~ Thank you for your comments about the 10 things and
the story and jokes. Glad you enjoyed
Take care, my friend, Love, Merle.

Nik said...

Awesome, that's only a few weeks away. Too cool! Are you like super stoked or what?!?!? Congrats again. Oh and the joke, too funny.

Merle said...

Hi again Christina ~~ I am so glad that you liked the Right Place story and the jokes also. Take great care, my friend, Love, Merle.

Peter said...

Ha Ha, I never saw that coming.... and I guess its a safe bet OJ didn't either.

Linda S. Socha said...

Well Christiana You caught me unaware on that one! Love the house adventure...Glad you are keeping us posted
Hugs
Linda

Fred said...

Yippee! A new house! Congrats...it's a great time to buy if you can get a good deal.

Looking forward to the house warming party!

Hale McKay said...

Christina,

I love this joke in all of its reincarnations.

BTW, I think the problem with the Ad images on my "Good Old Days" post might have something to do with certain browsers. I used a screen shot for that post.

I re-added the same pictures as single pics at the end of the post. You should be able to see them now.

Sorry for the inconvenience.

Merle said...

Dear Christina ~~ Thank you for your Australia Day wishes. Glad you enjoyed the jokes. I liked the one about the Marine and the dog too.
Take care, Love, Merle.

Fiona said...

hee hee that joke made me chuckle!