Priorities

When things in your life seem almost too much to handle, when 24 in a day are not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar and the 2 glasses of wine...

A professor stood before his philosophy class with several items in front of him.  When the class began, he wordlessly picked up a large empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls.  He then asked the class if the jar was full.  They agreed that it was.

The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar.  He shook the jar lightly and the pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls.  He then asked the students again if the jar was full.  Again they agreed that it was.

He then picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar.  Of course the sand filled the space between the pebbles.  He asked once more if the jar was full.  The students responded with a unanimous "yes".

The professor then produced 2 glasses of wine and poured them into the jar.  The students laughed.

"Now", said the professor, as the laughter subsided, " I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life.    The golf balls are the truly important things: your family, your children, your health, your friends, your favorite passions; things that if everything else were lost and only these things remained, your life would still be full.

The pebbles are other things that matter like your job, your house, your car.    The sand is everything else - the small stuff.  If you put the sand in the jar first," he continued, "there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls.  The same goes for life.  If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have time for the things that are important to you and critical to your happiness."

One of the students raised her hand and asked what the wine represented.

"I'm glad you asked," said the professor.  "It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem there is always room for a couple of glasses of wine with a friend.

Cheers!!!

Misunderstanding

We have been telling Trevor (my 3 year old) about Santa Claus.  We have been practicing with him what to do when he gets to see Santa and sit on Santa's lap.  He is supposed to tell Santa that he has been a good boy, and that he wants a fishing rod and a guitar.  

Tonight in our town they are having a festival downtown and one of the things they have is a Santa for the kids.  So we took Trevor down there to sit on Santa's lap.  He was very excited about the prospect and practiced saying "I've been a good boy" and "I want a fishing rod" all the way there.

He stood in line really well, went right up to Santa, sat on his lap and dutifully reported that he had been a good boy.  When asked what he wanted for Christmas, he replied "a fishing rod and a guitar."  He got his candy cane and we headed for home.  

The whole way home, Trevor talked about nothing but getting his fishing rod.  When we got home, he started screaming "want my fishing rod" and threw himself on the ground kicking and screaming.  

It finally dawned on me that he had no concept of when Christmas is, and he thought that if he sat on Santa's lap he would get his presents right away.   Oops.

We tried to explain it to him, but he is 3.  He wants his fishing rod.

Poor thing.  I didnt know whether to laugh or cry or get frustrated.  Fortunately he seems to be getting over it.  We'll see how he is tomorrow!

A Safe Return

Well, we made it safely back from Key Largo.  We had a great time while we were there.  I took today off work to recuperate.  I have lots of laundry and shopping to do.  I did get my Christmas tree up!

My New Computer

This is my first post from the new Mac.  So far I really like it.  I'm still getting used to it, it's a little different from a PC but close enough that it's not hard to work it.  

I took my new Mac and old PC into the Genius Bar at the local apple retail store.  For those of you who don't know (I didn't), the Genius Bar is Apple's version of the Geek Squad.  Anyway, for $99 they transferred all my files on the old computer to my new one.  It was well worth it.

Do any of you out there have a Mac?  How do you like it and do you have many problems with it?

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We are preparing for our annual Thanksgiving weekend trip to Key Largo.  I will be thankful that the weather is warmer there than here!  We are having Thanksgiving dinner with some of our best friends, and have plans to see many others while we're there.

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Happy Thanksgiving everybody!!!!!

Mac Attack

I just got a brand new computer. No, I am not posting this from it. It is a Mac, which I have never had before. I am still figuring it out. My next post will be from the new Mac!!!
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A group of country friends from the Cottonwood Baptist Church wanted to get together on a regular basis, socialize, and play games. The lady of the house was to prepare the meal.

When it came time for Al and Janet to be the hosts, Janet wanted to outdo all the others. So Janet decided to have mushroom-smothered steak.

However,knowing that mushrooms are expensive, her husband said, 'Don't buy mushrooms -- they cost too much.' He said, 'Why don't you go down in the pasture and pick some of those mushrooms? There are plenty in the creek bed.'

She said, 'No, some wild mushrooms are poison.'

He said, 'Well, I see varmints eating them and they're OK.'

So Janet decided to give it a try. She picked a bunch, washed, sliced, and diced them for her smothered steak. Then she went out on the back porch and gave Ol' Spot (the yard dog) a double handful.

Ol' Spot ate every bite. All morning long, Janet watched Ol' Spot and the wild mushrooms didn't seem to affect him, so she decided to use them. The meal was a great success and Janet even hired a lady from town to help her serve it. She had on a white apron and a fancy little cap on her head.

After everyone had finished eating, they relaxed, socialized, and started singing and playing some music.

About then, the helper lady from town came in and whispered in Janet's ear. She said, 'Mrs. Williams, Ol' Spot just died.' Janet went into hysterics. After she finally calmed down, > she called the doctor and told him what had happened.

The doctor said , 'That's bad, but I think we can take care of it. I will call for an ambulance and I will be there as quick as possible. I'll give everyone enemas and I will pump out everyone's stomach. Everything will be fine. Just keep them calm..'

Soon they could hear the siren as the ambulance was coming down the road. The EMTs and the doctor had their suitcases, syringes and a stomach pump. One by one, they took each person into the bathroom, gave them an enema, and pumped out their stomach.

After the last one was finished, the doctor came out and said, 'Done, everything will be fine now', and he left. They were all looking pretty weak sitting around the living room and about this time, the helper lady came in and said, 'You know, I't's just terrible...that fellow that ran over Ol' Spot never even stopped.'

Life Is Uncertain ........ Eat Dessert First !

Rumor Has It

I heard a rumor yesterday. It was told to me by someone who claimed it came directly from the office manager (and I believe her).

The rumor was that we may not be getting Christmas bonuses this year because the practice may not have enough money.

It was also said that there was sometimes a question as to whether there was enough in the bank to make payroll.

I personally do not believe either.

The thing that blows my mind is WHY on earth would the OFIICE MANAGER spread this kind of stuff!

If it's true, it certainly isn't something all the employees need to be aware of. And if it isn't true, why say it to begin with? Just to stir up problems with people? To see how many people spread it and/or believed it?

How petty and juvenile, not to mention unprofessional to the nth degree! I sometimes can't believe that there are people like that in positions like that and they manage to keep their jobs.

Rock The Vote

Everybody please go out and vote, if you haven't already. Don't take this right for granted. I don't care who you vote for or which party - just vote what you believe to be right.

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A police officer pulls over a speeding car.The officer says, "I clocked you at 80 miles per hour, sir."

The driver says, "Gee, officer I had it on cruise control at 60, perhaps your radar gun needs calibrating.

"Not looking up from her knitting the wife says: "Now don't be silly dear, you know that this car doesn't have cruise control."

As the officer writes out the ticket, the driver looks over at his wife and growls, "Can't you please keep your mouth shut for once?"

The wife smiles demurely and says, "You should be thankful your radar detector went off when it did."

As the officer makes out the second ticket for the illegal radar detector unit, the man glowers at his wife and says through clenched teeth, "Darn it, woman, can't you keep your mouth shut?"

The officer frowns and says, "And I notice that you're not wearing your seat belt, sir. That's an automatic $75 fine."

The driver says, "Yeah, well, you see officer, I had it on, but took it off when you pulled me over so that I could get my license out of my back pocket."

The wife says, "Now, dear, you know very well that you didn't have your seat belt on. You never wear your seat belt when you're driving."

And as the police officer is writing out the third ticket the driver turns to his wife and barks, "WHY DON'T YOU JUST SHUT UP?"

The officer looks over at the woman and asks, "Does your husband always talk to you this way, Ma'am?"

I love this part....

"Only when he's been drinking."

Take Two

We all got dressed up last night to go trick or treating. I took lots of pictures. This morning when I went to download them to my computer, they were gone. I could not access them at all. It is a total mystery to me.

Anyway, we all got dressed up again today and I took more pictures. I had promised my loyal readers (not to mention Grammy and Grandpa) pictures of Halloween and I could not disappoint!

Curious George and The Man in the Yellow Hat:

Hippie Mom:

Enjoying the Spoils:

Fall Back

Update on my ankle: it was a mild sprain. The side of my foot turned purple but the swelling was minimal. with an Ace ankle support and my Nike's I can walk around comfortably. This is fortunate since I'm on my feet all day at work!
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Well, it's definitely not summer anymore. We got down to 41 degrees last night which is record-setting for down here. High today was only 65, which is unheard of at this time of year. And Daylight Savings Time ends this weekend. I hate it when it's dark when I get home from work.
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During one of her daily classes, a teacher, trying to teach good manners, asked her students the following question: 'If you were on a date having dinner with a nice young lady,how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom? Yes, Michael?'

Michael said, 'Just a minute I have to go pee.'

The teacher responded by saying, 'That would be rude and impolite.What about you Sherman, how would you say it?'

Sherman said,'I am sorry, but I really need to go to the bathroom. I'll be right back.'

'That's better, but it's still not very nice to say the word "bathroom" at the dinner table. And you, little Johnny, how would you say you explain it?'

Little Johnny answered, 'I would say: "Darling , may I please be excusedfor a moment? I have to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, to whom I hope to introduce you after dinner."'

The teacher fainted...

Baseball Diamond

Well the Rays and Phillies are tied 1 game each so far in the World Series - GO RAYS!!!! I hope they can play tonight in the cold and rain.

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Neil Diamond concert was last night! He was fantastic. He played all the songs people know, and a bunch that I didn't know. Of course hubby knew them all!

When we came out of the concert we stopped at a little bar right across the street to have a drink or two and hang out with a bunch of other people who just came from the concert. There was a guy playing music in there and of course everyone wanted to hear Neil Diamond songs.

We hung out and danced a little then headed back to the car, which was parked a few blocks away. It was dark, and we decided to cut across this open area, which unfortunately had very uneven ground. This, paired with the fact that I was wearing these really cool boots with really high heels resulted in a skinned knee and sprained ankle.

Other than that, we made it back home without incident!

Next concert coming up will be The Eagles in January...

Chivalry Is Not Dead

As I was sitting and watching TV tonight, I realized I needed a couple items from the store. It was as good a time as any so I ran down to the corner and picked up my items.

On my way home I saw a little old man crossing the street in the middle of the block. (Read "80-some-odd year old shuffling accross the street in the middle of the block with oncoming traffic...")

I thought, "that old man shouldn't be jaywalking!"

I noticed he was coming from an assisted living facility.

Then I saw where he was going. He was headed across the street to a 55+ community.

Finally, I noticed he was carrying a bouquet of flowers. I thought, "Oh how sweet!!!"

But he still shouldn't be jaywalking. He could get hit!

Broccoli, Anyone?

We went out to dinner last night. Red Lobster. I ordered Trevor the popcorn shrimp and broccoli off the kids' menu.

Trevor promptly decided that he would rather line up the shrimp in one long line on the table, and the broccoli in another, than eat either. OK, whatever. He was being quiet and well behaved otherwise.

Until he started trying to climb out of the highchair and look over into the booth next to us. I heard something along the line of "waaaants myyyy bwoooccoweeeee" out of Trevor.

I said, "Your broccoli is on the table in front of you. Go for it!" Trevor ignored me and continued trying to climb over into the next booth.

I stood up and looked over the divider. Sure enough , Trevor had thrown a piece of broccoli over there and it landed right between the couple closest to us, who looked like they might be on their first date. They also hadn't noticed the broccoli.

They turned around and looked at me like I had three heads. The other couple across from them stopped their conversation and stared at me too.

I said, "Uh...uh...excuse me...i'm really sorry...uh...my son threw a piece of...uh...broccoli over the seat and uh..." I reached down, grabbed the broccoli and sat down really quick.

They just laughed and (thank God) acted like nothing happened. I was so embarrassed that I got the giggles and started cracking up laughing. Yeah, that helped the situation!

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There once was an Indian who had only one testicle, and whose given name was 'Onestone'. He hated that name and asked everyone not to call him Onestone.

After years and years of torment, Onestone finally cracked and said,'If anyone calls me Onestone again I will kill them!'

The word got around and nobody called him that any more. Then one day a young woman named Blue Bird forgot and said, 'Good morning, Onestone.'

He jumped up, grabbed her and took her deep into the forest where he made love to her all day and all night.He made love to her all the next day, until Blue Bird died from exhaustion.

The word got around that Onestone meant what he promised he would do.Years went by and no one dared call him by his given name until a woman named Yellow Bird returned to the village after being away.

Yellow Bird, who was Blue Bird's cousin, was overjoyed when she saw Onestone.

She hugged him and said, 'Good to see you, Onestone.'Onestone grabbed her, took her deep into the forest, then he made love to her all day, made love to her all night, made love to her all the next day, made love to her all the next night, but Yellow Bird wouldn't die!

What is the moral of this story?????

OH, Come on...take a guess!

Think about it............(You're going to love this!)

Very simply, the moral is..................

YOU CAN'T KILL TWO BIRDS WITH ONE STONE!!!!

Toenail Polish and Investments

My 3 year old son has recently become potty trained.

Tonight, at one point he told us he needed to go potty and ran to the bathroom. Hubby followed along to see if he needed any help.

Trevor announced that he had to poop, so hubby left him to sit on the potty for a while. We were watching the baseball game and forgot all about Trevor, until I suddenly realized it was really quiet.

I ran to the bathroom to see what he had gotten into. He was sitting on the toilet painting his toenails. No shit, I took pictures.















He had the left foot done and was working on the right. He had seen me do my toenails the night before and right now he's into doing everything mommy does.

I guess I should draw a line somewhere though!
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If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in Delta Airlines one year ago, you would have $49.00 today.

If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in AIG one year ago, you would have $33.00 today.

If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in Lehman Brothers one year ago, you would have $0.00 today.

But, if you had purchased $1,000 worth of beer one year ago, drank all the beer and then turned in the aluminum cans for a recycling refund, you would have received $214.00.

Based on the above, the best current investment plan is to drink heavily & recycle. It is called the 401-Keg.

Ducks in Heaven

Three women die together in an accident and go to heaven.

When they get there, St. Peter says 'We only have one rule here in heaven: don't step on the ducks!'

So they enter heaven, and sure enough, there are ducks all over the place. It is almost impossible not to step on a duck, and although they try their best to avoid them, the first woman accidentally steps on one.

Along comes St. Peter with the ugliest man she ever saw. St. Peter chains them together and says, 'Your punishment for stepping on a duck is to spend eternity chained to this ugly man!'

The next day, the second woman steps accidentally on a duck and along comes St. Peter, who doesn't miss a thing. With him is another extremely ugly man. He chains them together with the same admonishment as for the first woman.

The third woman has observed all this and, not wanting to be chained for all eternity to an ugly man, is very, VERY careful where she steps.

She manages to go months without stepping on any ducks, but one day St. Peter comes up to her with the most handsome man she has ever laid eyes on...very tall, long eyelashes, muscular.

St. Peter chains them together without saying a word.The happy woman says, 'I wonder what I did to deserve being chained to you for all of eternity?'

The guy says, 'I don't know about you, but I stepped on a duck.

Tattoos

Does anyone else have tattoos? I have a total of 4 (pics below).




































I got the first,dive flag and shark, when I was in college. I had been certified as a scuba diver and was on my way to becoming an instructor.

I got the second, the conch shell, when I lived in Key Largo. It just felt like home to me, and still does in a way. Part of me will always be there, it was a huge time in my life.

The third, the armband with flowers, just came along about a year ago. It does go all the way around, btw. I figure if you're gonna do it, may as well do it right!

The fourth, the peace sign, I just got a few months ago. I was looking for myself, and wanted something symbolic. Peace signs are becoming very popular again, and it kinda pisses me off, 'cause I was into them before it was cool. Now everybody has one.

I would love to see pics of your tattoos and the story behind them. Please share!

If you don't have any, why not? No judgment one way or another, it's a personal choice. I personally like the art and the symbolism, every tat tells a story.

What do you think?

Random Bits

My husband and I love concerts. We have been to...let's see...

Rolling Stones, KISS, Aerosmith, Neil Young, John Prine, Jimmy Buffett, Bon Jovi, Eagles...seems like there may be more but I forget.

Anyway, we are going to see Neil Diamond on the 24th. Can't wait!!!

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We took Trevor (age 3) to Wal Mart yesterday to buy underwear. He was sooo excited.

These were his first real underwear, not training pants, and they have Batman and Spiderman on them. How cool is that!

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I just found out that the office manager where I work has a new boyfriend.

We all hope he is either super rich and marries her so she can quit working, or that he is the Jeffrey Dahmer type. Either one will be acceptable.

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Has anybody started their Christmas shopping yet? I haven't.

I usually don't until about a week or 2 before Christmas. I'm such a procrastinater.

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Happy Hump Day everyone!!! The weekend awaits...

Barbie Rules!

I went to a garage sale yesterday and bought my son a pair of roller skates. He loves them!

The only problem is that they are Barbie skates and they are for a girl.

As you can see from the picture on the sidebar, my son's hair is long, so even though I dress him obviously in boys' clothes he is often mistaken for a girl. Yeah, these skates will help with that.

Especially if he also wears his pink Barbie watch that my grandma gave him out of a cereal box. Once again, he really loves this watch.

My husband is worried, but I think it's just 'cause he's 3 and doesn't know any better. Really, what difference does it actually make?

So do you think this will affect his delicate psyche and screw him up when he's older or what?

My Son, Curious George

My 3 year old is really into Curious George right now. So I thought it would be cute if he dressed as Curious George for Halloween.

I found a costume online and ordered it. Then I told Trevor (my son) that he would be dressing up as George for trick-or-treat. He go very excited, but I wasn't sure if he really grasped the concept or not.

Well, the costume arrived yesterday. Trevor started jumpnig around the living room shrieking "MY CURIOUS GEORGE SUIT" at the top of his lungs.

I made the mistake of putting it on him. He refused to take it off. Since I pick my battles and this wasn't one I wanted to fight, I let him wear the suit.

Finally he needed to go potty. I worried for a minute when I told him he had to take the suit off to go potty and he refused. Then he thought about it and relented. I guess he really had to go bad.

Anyway, at bedtime, he wanted to wear the suit to bed, and this I did not allow. I listened to him scream for about 5 minutes or so, then he accepted my ruling.

By today he has forgotten all about it. Don't you wish we could still get over things that quickly when we're grown-ups?

btw, pictures of the CG suit will be posted at Halloween!

Wait a Second...

One thing I refuse to blog about is politics. I am so tired of the political ads and mudslinging.

I already can't decide who to vote for. I like some things that Obama stands for and I like some things McCain stands for.

I am sick of the war.

I wouldn't mind seeing a woman vice president, and I don't know enough about Biden to care one way or the other about him.

So you see, I will never post about politics on my blog.

Oh wait...what did I just post about...?

Alrighty Then...

I have taken a hiatus from blogging (obviously), but have decided to give it another go.

I always felt like I didn't have anything interesting to blog about. But so what? I will blog about whatever I want whether anyone reads it or not, right? Right.

Don't you hate it when you're driving down a busy street and the car in front of you changes lanes abruptly, giving you just enough time to figure out why they did so. It's a car doing 35 in a 45 where everyone is going at least 55. That happened to me today.

As I swore quietly, I checked my blind spot and swerved around this annoying car. I expected, based on my residence in central Florida, to see a little old lady or gentleman about 90 years old peering over the dash.

Instead I saw a young kid of about 23 punching buttons on his cell phone. Probably texting. Little bastard!

Hey, wait a sec... when did I start calling people in their 20's "kids"? holy shit , I feel old.